Welcome to the BLOGSPACE!

What the fuck is the blogspace?

The BLOGSPACE is... the blog. duh. All my little thoughts are stored here. OH LOOK!! A POST!!.

BLOGSPACE: PLAYBOY SHOTS

WARNING: brief mention of sexual assault and sexual content. Proceed with caution.

I have decided to upload some photographs taken by me. Here they are:

Oh...Oh my.... Oh... ohhhh....OOOHHH....!

WOAH... Uh.. Didn't expect to see you here. I was practicing.ANYWHO! What do you see in these pictures? some magazines, boobies, a bloody tissue, a red bra.... a suspicious white liquid on the table? lol. Very obviously this is a comment on the adult entertainment industry. It is difficult to deny that porn has had a staggering impact on men and how they view sex and women.

Alongside this, I wanted to provide my own personal perspective. Sex is a touchy subject for me, both as a transgender man and a victim of sexual assault. There have been a lot of factors that contribute to my rocky relationship with my body and intimacy. Just by walking on the street, I cannot help but be viewed by others as a woman, which has led to too many unfortunate incidents. Despite my personal identity, I am subjected to the same burdens of women worldwide just because of how I present myself.

Now, it sounds like there would be an easy solution to this problem: stop presenting that way. Look more like a boy. But whenever I try to dress masculinely, I feel so out of place. I am short. I am skinny. I have a soft face. Feminine features. I stick out like a sore thumb. When I look like a man, it feels right in my heart, but I also can't move on from how ugly I look. Looking feminine makes me confident, and to most people's surprise, it doesn't make me uncomfortable (until people ruin it for me.)

Societal misunderstandings make this incredibly difficult for some to comprehend. I challenge you to think of it this way: I am a man, yes? of course. I am a man who cross-dresses. I am a man with chest tumors and a deformed penis and low testosterone levels who cross-dresses (wow, thats a mouthful). It's that simple. I'm doing drag. Everyday. But the only person who knows that is me and the people I choose to disclose my identity with.

I hope one day to be completely comfortable with myself. I would hope to be free of society's assumptions about me, how others around me treat me, but that is asking too much. We are all victim to some societal expectation. We are all placed into a social contract. I look like a woman, I talk like a woman, I dress like a woman, I fuck like a woman, but yet, I am a man. FUCK YOU! I'M A MAN! I THINK ABOUT SEX, IM CONSTANTLY HORNY, I DO GROSS SHIT. Maybe I just want to be different so bad. Maybe I want to be too complex. Maybe I revel in the fact that nobody understands my existence but me.

In the words of some fucking wise guy (Descartes), "I think therefore I am."

Thinking about this image of JD Vance. We lost a true diva.